July 3, 2011

Anthony Weiner

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Written for: Communicado Magazine
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The Details:

Anthony Weiner was a congressman representing the State of New York – Brooklyn/Queens. I think that’s all most people knew about Anthony Weiner until about a month ago. Now we know his wife is Huma Abedin, who, is the right-hand to Secretary of State Hilary Clinton; We know they’ve been married for 11 months and she is pregnant. We also know Mr. Weiner wears boxer briefs. Gray ones…

What we don’t know about Anthony Weiner is that he’s a virgo, 47-years-old and the middle child of a lawyer and a teacher – all boys; the oldest killed in a hit and run accident in 2000. He played hockey in college and actually aspired to be a television weatherman though he earned his bachelor’s degree in Political Science. He’s also been friends with The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart since 1987. That explains some of this.

By most accounts, Anthony Weiner did a great job for the people of Brooklyn/Queens. I’m sure he has a great time when in his district, but, as a congressman in Washington, his day consisted of boring hearings on the hill intertwined with lots of forced schmoozing. Add in a wife who travels constantly and a shutter-bug complex and we have our most recent political scandal. It’s almost formulaic.

The Facts:

• Anthony Weiner was a U.S. Congressman
• Anthony Weiner is a man, a newlywed and has a wife that travels extensively
• Life on Capitol Hill can be boring and lonely
• He got caught tweeting x-rated pictures of himself, then lied about it
• New Yorkers mostly don’t give a damn

The Brain-override:

This is a double-edged sword. I’ll start with what’s wrong in this scenario…
Weiner is married and a public figure. There is no good reason for him to think he has the anonymity to pull off something like this. Twitter is a public forum; computers can be hacked, as he so evasively pointed out. Even as a single man, shooting suggestive pictures across a public forum is just not a good idea for a public figure.

As a married man, I’m not so sure shooting suggestive pictures to your wife would go over well either, but, maybe I just predicted the next big political scandal. 🙂

All puns intended, Weiner’s brain was not doing the thinking. THIS is a no-brainer…

The other side of this scenario is mostly based on comparisons. Many people said Weiner should resign not because of the pictures, but, because he lied. President Clinton lied – recanted – was impeached and still didn’t resign. And there was actual sex in his case, not to mention, he was THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. I would kill to hear what Bill had to say to Anthony about this. We know what Hilary said…

Democratic leadership said he should resign because he created the pictures utilizing elements of his official capacity. Bill and Monica had their fun in the oval office… at the desk. Doesn’t get more official capacity than that. And Clinton did not resign.

They also said the whole thing was too much of a distraction from the work that needed to get done. Congress doesn’t like to get interrupted in the middle of their no-results bickering. No wonder Anthony Weiner was taking pictures of himself. He was bored.

This should have been left to the people of Booklyn/Queens to decide. Maybe this is a sign that Anthony Weiner should be the mayor of New York City. They seem to be the only people who are willing to give him a rating based on his work, not his gender.